The Drunken Chronicles Episode 1

Have you ever been the last person people thought of? The last person chosen for the team? The last person invited to the party? Have you ever been the invisible one? They say writing is show business for introverts. But what about the invisible introverts? Since the internet took off with all the bloggers, vloggers, influencers, Wattpadders and now that approximately half of all humans as well as some animals are now online creators, the internet, a place that was supposed to finally give everyone an equal chance is overflowing with content and on the verge of breaking its barriers. Those of us who were rarely seen before the internet have been once again shoved to the darkest corner of the gym where nobody looks. Instead of being ignored by school peers we’re less interesting than literally anyone else on the entire planet and I for one am tired of being invisible. Today is the day it's all going to change. I know I said that yesterday but this time I'm serious. I look at my reflection in the window and whisper, “Today is the day I'm going to be discovered.”

“No you're not.” Ted says. Ted the cynic, he’s known by the rest of us as Ted Talks. Because Ted talks. All the time. According to Ted he knows a lot more than anyone else about basically everything. Like those Ted Talks on YouTube we keep waiting for him to say something deep, something profound. We’re still waiting in fact. Ted, the obnoxious token white man who everyone loves to hate, as he likes to describe himself which doesn't make any sense because we live in the Midwest. He's not the only white man here. Some communities around here are actually just a sea of white people. If he's not the only white man, how can he be a token white man? Did you ever wonder how a country that was built as a result of its settlers flipping the bird at its parent country, one with a class system based on birth and wealth with only one acceptable religion became a country so focused on separating people based on their race and on the concept that its citizens should only follow one specific religion? I do. It feels ironic.

It's like rain on your wedding day, a free ride when you've already paid, good advice that you just didn't take...sorry Alanis Morissette moment. Those happen sometimes. I live with my sister, she's really into female songwriters. But only the really good ones.

Ted Talks walks to the other side of our group of tables here at La Hacienda De Churro, the only Mexican restaurant in town, and sits down. I look up from my notebook and ask, “Do you ever wonder if the internet hasn't just become the new white noise?”

“Everyone's on the internet, not just white people.” Natty says as she sits down next to me. She's a philosophy instructor at the local college and our literary fiction writer.

“Not white people, white noise. The sounds we ignore: appliances, heating and air conditioning units, the sound of the fan running as you sleep.” Ted says.

Natty isn't listening; she’s already inserted her earbuds. She hates Ted and only tolerates him because she has to in order to be in this group.

“It's all white noise, that's why the only way anyone will see you online is if you piss them off.” He continues, “Be brave my girl. Flip ‘em the bird and they will come.”

“They'll come slash your tires.” Dave says as he sits down. “Don't listen to Ted, his kind of numbers won't do you any favors. They'll just create unnecessary drama and bring the cops to your door.”

“Negative attention is still attention.” Ted counters, “I am following in the tradition of a long line of rabble rousers who’ve stood up against the establishment.”

“Here we go again.” Dave says, “And who uses the phrase rabble rousers anymore?”

“You just don’t get it. It’s the truly brave online creators who refuse to be Cont blocked by Zuckerberg and his cronies.

“What?” Natty asks, removing a bud from her ear.

“Cont blocked- when your content is being cock blocked by all the Fat Cat businessmen online. They'll only let your content out if you pay. The internet is all becoming one gigantic toll bridge.”

“We pay for other services.” Natty says. “Why shouldn't we pay for advertising?”

“Because the internet is for everyone. Do you pay to go to the library or the park?”

“No because I pay for them with my taxes.”

“She's got you there.” Dave points out.

In response, Ted did what he always does when there's a chance he might be wrong about something, he changes the subject. “Flipping the bird, it's the way to go.” He repeats.

I look at Ted not because I'm entertaining the idea of doing it myself but because I'm not entirely sure he's wrong.

“Name someone.” Dave challenges. “Name someone who's flipped the establishment the bird and it changed his or her career.”

Ted started to say something.

“Not you someone we've heard of.”

“Joey Nickelbaum?”

Dave rolls his eyes. “Let's get started.”

“Blake...Blake Edwards.” Ted Talks said.

“The Pink Panther guy?”

He wrote and directed several movies including The Pink Panther movies, and 10. He directed Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”

“That was a good movie.” Natty said.

“And S.O.B.”

“Which is?” Dave asked.

“A movie about a director who's at the end of his patience with the film industry. When he wrote it he totally flipped the bird at the establishment.”

“After he quit directing and moved to Switzerland.” Natty says holding up her phone.

“It changed his career.”

Natty and I shook our heads at Dave indicating there was no point in continuing the argument.

He takes a different approach. “What good does it do to flip readers the bird when you don't have any?” Dave asked.

“It makes people come and look.” Ted counters.

“If nobody knows you exist how can they come look?”

I can hear Alanis Morissette singing in my mind again...and so it goes. This is how we begin every meeting. It must be Monday. My last thought before the meeting actually gets started was would Alanis have ever gotten a break if she had started her music career online and after 2009? I can't help but wonder.

I look up from my monitor and noticed it has not only gotten later, it’s dark outside. It’s a kind of dark void you only see when you live in a town where the streets roll up before nine. Once again I sat down at my computer to put down a few thoughts after our meeting and the lost an entire evening. I think about how I want to finish this. There’s only one way to do it. That’s with the truth.

Ernest Hemingway said, “Write drunk, edit sober.” It’s one of my favorite quotes that and “You must stay drunk on writing so reality does not destroy you.” Ray Bradbury said that. I don’t drink much but I do write. I’m an aspiring writer, I’m an introvert, and I’m invisible. I can’t build an online audience to save my soul. In honor of my favorite quotes, I’m calling whatever this is “The Drunken Chronicles.” My name is Chloe Harper and this is my life.